Forgiven
by Mayumi
Summary: Things don't always go the way you want them to... or do they...? erm... me not good make summaries.. happy senkosh day!... ^_^


Title:. Forgiven  
Part: 1/1   
Author: Mayumi  
Genre: Yaoi? ^__^ generally… if there was a genre named "stupidity" this would be in that genre… but then… there's none so technically… I'd say it's a romance/drama. Pity huh?   
Pairing: SenKosh… ^^ yay for me!   
Rating: PG… I think… ^^;;   
Archive: Yes. Babble and FFn… that's where all of my fics go… unless FFn decides it wants to erase my fics… or… somebody likes this fic… I don't mind if you take it. ^^ don't ask for my permission anymore. ^^;   
Email: mayumi.chan@email.com  
Warning: OOC… and I don't think I can check grammar and spelling that much… so un-betaed… ^^;; and it's REALLY OOC… ^^; REALLY.   
Disclaimer: ^__^ I have fun writing, that's just it. SD is not mine… and I'm not making any money out of this… ^^   
  
Dedicated to… Madie-nee… since I miss her a lot… Reeza-san… because I don't know and… ^^ Dref-san… why? Because… a while ago… I was thinking and then Dref came into my mind. Just like that. I was like… shocked or something… ^^ _nodnod_ and I want to thank… everyone who reads my fics… which aren't a lot… because… I'm not good…? Probably… oh well… ^__^;  
  
What's more! Happy SenKosh Day! ^__^   
  
***   
Don't talk to me.  
  
These words rang in Sendoh's head over and over again. He looked at his former best friend walking away briskly and he knew he could feel the tears coming, he recognized that there was the feeling of his heart burning from an emotion that he never experienced before. And it hurt. Oh how it wounded him. Now all he wanted to do was to take back everything he ever did, turn back time, correct mistakes, and make everything all right. If only he had not gone to see the girl, if only he had taken his beloved with him to bid farewell, but he didn't. And now he's lost one of the only things that mattered.  
  
"Koshino! Wait up!" Sendoh wanted to cry out these words but his voice betrayed him, his feet wouldn't budge, all he could do was stare at the figure which began to grow smaller and smaller. Then when he thought he could finally move, his legs failed him, making him tumble onto the dirt floor of the park. The girl he was with was long gone, escaped as soon as she saw the angered face of Koshino. The teen was and is very intimidating after all. He could feel his head throb as the tears started to course down from his face. He didn't understand how it could have happened so fast. He couldn't understand at all.   
  
Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he should have considered Koshino's feelings before he broke up with his girlfriend. Maybe he should have known better. Maybe he should have broken up with his girlfriend, before confessing. But the confession was a spur of the moment, sincere and from the bottom of his heart. How would he have known that the girl would act like that?   
  
Maybe…   
  
Maybe he should to quit the maybes.   
  
He had to quit the maybes.   
  
But as he sat there, the tears in his eyes slowly backing away he looked back onto what happened the other day when he found that his life was in his love. He smiled a ghost of a smile as he recalled how happy he was on that particular date when he found out that the shorter teen felt the same way.   
  
~ [*Flashback*] ~  
  
"Hey!" Sendoh popped out of nowhere and surprised his best friend who was sitting under a tree in the park. The said best friend was clutching a pencil tightly in his right hand, an eraser on the other and a very harassed looking sketch pad sat on his lap. As soon as he heard his best friend's voice he quickly shut the notepad and dropped the pencil and eraser so he could embrace the sketching notebook.   
  
"What do you think you're doing? I'm trying to draw here!" He glared openly at the teen.   
  
"Well Kosh, I just wanted to talk to you and sides, you were sitting here looking around and around so I just came over, I never thought you were busy," Sendoh flashed Koshino one of his most innocent smiles as he sat down beside the boy.   
  
"The hell I care… don't bug me Sendoh, I'm drawing," Koshino murmured as he stood up from his place, "I'm going to find a place where I can't see your face."   
  
"Hey! That rhymed! When are you going to show me the drawings in your sketch pad Kosh? That's not fair, we're best friends! Why won't you let me see?" Sendoh pouted his lips as he made a play to grab the sketch pad away from his best friend but was stopped by a punch on his head.  
  
"You'll see it when I want you to see it," Koshino's voice sounded angry as he stomped off, but even before he could get far he tripped over a soda can and the pad that he was holding went flying from his hands. The notebook unceremoniously opened as soon as it landed on the ground only to show Sendoh what was inside.   
  
"Ano… Kosh! Are you all right?" Sendoh ran towards his fallen friend but stopped as he saw the sketches. His eyes widened considerably as he took in what he saw. He then slowly approached the teen that still had his face stuck to the ground, obviously trying to hide himself from Sendoh's reaction. "Ne… Kosh? Are you all right?"   
  
"What do you think?" the boy muttered, standing up slowly, grabbing his sketch pad from the ground but was too slow for Sendoh's hands took hold of it first.   
  
"Hey, these are pretty good!" Sendoh grinned at the other boy who was dusting himself off sullenly, "Oh! I like this one…" he pointed to a drawing where he, himself was holding a flower and looking shy.   
  
"I don't want to talk about it…" Koshino mumbled as he stalked off avoiding Sendoh. Before Sendoh could move, he already broke into a run. (Always like that ne? I have no spontaneity…) Sendoh then blinked and shrugged as he continued to flip through the pad. He couldn't believe it. Almost all of the sketches were him. Some were penned, some were in charcoal and some were left like their original form but what he noticed most were the tear stains that appeared on some of the drawings. He smiled slightly as he made his way out of the park.   
  
Later that day, Sendoh appeared before Koshino's door with sketchpad in hand. He was cool and composed as he knocked on the house's entrance. The image that opened the door was a little messy to be his best friend but Sendoh smiled at the image. Koshino rolled his eyes and let the man into the house. This was a voiceless conversation as some others would have called it, a psychic connection perhaps?   
  
"Okay, so what do you want Sendoh?" Koshino cut to the chase as soon as they were inside, "I know you didn't come for just chit chat."   
  
Sendoh's smile widened, "ooh, Koshy's mad, anyways, I just brought your sketch pad. You draw good." Koshino blushed.   
  
"You draw WELL, not "good". You're abusing grammar," he muttered in a huff, "give it back."   
  
"But I can't help wondering, why Kosh likes to draw me so much because as Kosh always says, Sendoh no baka, and that he'll never care about me," Sendoh continued with a grin, "could it be that Kosh likes me?"   
  
Koshino blushed to his roots as he glared at his best friend. But his friend wasn't done yet.   
  
"I hope Kosh likes me because I like Kosh too. A lot. And I don't want to let Kosh go now that I know the he likes me." Sendoh smiled fondly at Koshino as he finished his words and slowly enveloped him in a tight hug. Even though Koshino's face was buried in his shirt he could still feel the blush burning hot. Koshino tried to bury himself deeper when Sendoh set him at arm's' length.   
  
"Do you like me?" the taller boy asked solemnly, Sendoh couldn't bring his eyes to meet the other's eyes anymore.   
  
"Do mine eyes deceive me?" Koshino tried to smother the awkward moment with a bit of humor, "the great Sendoh Akira is nervous!" Still, when he finally noticed that they weren't playing games anymore, he answered with finality, "Yes, yes. I don't like you. I like you more than you think. I'm jealous of every girl or guy who's ever been with you, because I don't understand why you can't see me that way. So yes, I do like you."   
  
He was once again surprised by a pair of strong arms encircling him, enfolding him in a warm cocoon. He couldn't help but sigh in happiness as he felt the arms just cradle him to the other man.   
  
And they were happy that way.   
  
~ [*End Flashback*] ~  
  
As Sendoh walked out of the park, he recovered all the strength he could regain, thankful that his face was the type to not register the tears that were on it before. He sighed as he looked around, remembering all the good times he had with Koshino. As much as he wanted to erase the memories, he could do nothing. He liked the man all too much. Maybe to the point of loving him.   
  
***  
  
Koshino, who had already reached his home, went to his room ablaze. He should have never believed that creep he called a best friend. He should have known that the man would break his heart. He'd done it before, to a lot of people Koshino added, why wouldn't Sendoh have done the same to Koshino?   
  
Being his best friend was obviously not an excuse to the porcupine haired boy. Of course it didn't. As his best friend, he had even more right to break his heart.   
  
And why do they always say that you should give your heart to someone who can make you cry but won't? He gave HIS heart to a man who could make him cry and did. He angrily took out his sketch pad and started to draw a picture. A picture made out of hatred.  
  
He drew madly for an hour or so and when he surveyed his masterpiece… it really was a masterpiece. It was beautiful, in a horrific way.  
  
Sendoh's head was being struck a sword handled by himself, there was no blood yet, and the head had not yet fallen off but the detail made the picture awesome. Gory.   
  
He still hadn't had his fill so he picked up a photograph. Tore it into little pieces and taped it up, putting the torn pieces in odd angles, making the handsome face disfigured. Afterwards, he found the eyes of the person in the said photograph and punctured both eyes repetitively. And when you thought that he would do more, his eyes gave out and he began to cry.   
  
He crawled towards his bed and cuddled his pillow, cradling the softness to his body. He buried his head in the pillow to relieve himself of the pain and when he thought that the spell was over, a fresh batch of tears came. He wanted to reach out for the phone and call his best friend, but he couldn't. It was his best friend who caused him all the pain after all.   
  
Something in his mind told him that it wasn't right to judge him. Something in him told him that perhaps it wasn't what it was, but it was. He caught Sendoh making out with his girlfriend, in public. Meaning, Sendoh had no intention of breaking up with her at all. Meaning, Sendoh didn't even break up with her in the first place. That he was only second best in his best friend's heart.   
  
There was no explanation for that.   
  
There was no need for explanations.   
  
He saw it and he believed it.   
  
***   
  
Sendoh decided it wasn't a good idea to go to Koshino's house as of the moment, he didn't want any things thrown in his direction and he certainly didn't want to lose anything like an eye. So he wandered into an ice cream parlor.   
  
"Good evening sir… wel… Sendoh?" Sendoh looked up, surprised to see Mitsui, of Shohoku High behind the counter.   
  
"Oh… hey Mitsui-san, I didn't know you were working here…" Sendoh commented with his usual cheerfulness, waving his hand as he smiled widely.   
  
"Yeah… would you like some ice cream?" Mitsui asked shortly, nodding slowly.   
  
"Nah… can… I just talk to you or something? That'd be nice…" the taller teen nodded back, his eyes flashed sadness for a second. Mitsui took this as a sign and smiled.   
  
"Sure Sendoh, I wouldn't mind having someone to talk to this late at night…" Mitsui smiled as he leaned over the counter to listen to whatever Sendoh had to tell him.   
  
"Ne Mitsui-san… have you ever been… in love?" Sendoh sighed, looking at the man on the other side.   
  
"Of course I have," Mitsui's eyes softened, "I'm in love with the most delightful person, most perfect person in the world… if you ask me…"   
  
"Kogure-san I suppose?" Sendoh blinked, watching Mitsui redden, "I wish I can be as happy as both of you, sadly I can't say I'm enjoying my love life as of now…"   
  
Mitsui looked surprised as he heard the statement, "love problems eh? Well, what idiotic thing did you do?" his blue eyes twinkled with understanding as he tried to sound light-hearted with that comment.   
  
Sendoh smiled sheepishly, "I think I maybe more of an idiot than people say I am… well… you see… Koshino… caught me when my ex-girlfriend kissed me as I broke up with her… and you see… Koshi and I are… you know."   
  
"Then what are you doing here? Talking to me? You really ARE an idiot if you can't see that he needs you right now… that he needs your explanation," the Shohoku lad scowled at his friend.   
  
"He probably doesn't want to hear my explanation…"   
  
"Are you the same Sendoh that I met on the court? The Sendoh I knew was confident, cocky… maybe too cocky… but knew when risks are supposed to be made, and the person in front of me certainly doesn't know these things," the boy nodded.   
  
"You're right." Sendoh mumbled, standing straight. "Mitsui-san, tell Kogure-san that he's lucky to have you and not me as an idiot boyfriend… I gotta go. Thanks."  
  
"Of course he's lucky… HEY! What do you mean by YOU as MY Min-kun's boyfriend?? Oi! Don't run away yet!!" Mitsui called out to Sendoh as the teen ran out of the door. He then smiled and shook his head slightly, looking bored once again as he stared into the empty ice cream parlor.   
  
***   
  
Koshino heard the doorbell ringing. He would've asked his mom or dad or his sister to answer it, but as they all left to watch a movie, he was home alone. Now he didn't want to seem inhospitable, so he answered the door.   
  
"S-Sendoh? What the hell are you doing here?" Koshino yelled as he found out who the person outside was, "oh, you've come to explain. Silly me, I completely forgot but then you forget too. You should be with your girlfriend. She's waiting for you, you know. It's not nice to keep a lady waiting."   
  
"Hiro… please? Let me explain? Just this once… please?" Sendoh whispered in a low tone, a seductive tone, "I promise it'll be worth your time…"   
  
"Oh… now you resort to giving me MORE promises, oh dear… what do I look like? An idiot? You're the idiot, not me," Koshino smirked, but his breath hitched as soon as he felt Sendoh closing in on him. Their lips barely touching.   
  
"Have I ever told you…?" Sendoh whispered into his lips, touching them briefly, "how much…" another fluttering kiss, "I love you?" the third kiss was more passionate than the first two. And Sendoh used this opportunity to push Koshino and himself inside the house, closing the door, locking them both in. Koshino was in a daze when Sendoh parted their lips.   
  
"Okay… now you have to listen to me… all right?" Sendoh smiled a sincere smile, "remember what I told you? That you're the only one I've ever truly fallen in love with? That's true. And well… the lady went ballistic when I told her this… and well… she tried to prove to herself that I'm not gay and it ended up like that. She kissed me and you saw it. And really Hiro-kun…"   
  
"Shut up Sendoh…" Koshino's voice was uncharacteristically out of character as he fluttered his eyelashes slightly, "your talking makes no sense to me anymore…" then he pressed his lips lightly over Sendoh's.   
  
"Ano… weren't you angry just a while ago?" Sendoh replied innocently, feigning a surprised tone.   
  
"I AM mad…" Koshino raised his eyebrow, "I'm just mad about the wrong person…" Sendoh smiled slightly.   
  
"Hmm… I wanna know what you've been up to while you were mad at me… draw… me with a knife sticking out from my chest I suppose?" Sendoh laughed, "I want to see…"   
  
Koshino just smiled and led Sendoh off to his bed room.   
  
They're probably doing something other than just looking at the drawings if you ask me…   
  
Owari   
  
AN: now I know it's not the best story you've ever read… but… I really… really really haven't been writing in a VERY long time… _takes cover_ please don't kill me… pleaaaaase don't kill me… .   
  
  



End file.
